Are You Llovable?   

Until we learn the truth, we struggle with life.
We become addicted to something,
whatever it is, it's our quest for Llove,
our quest to be reconnected to God.

We struggle hoping that
our behavior will make us Llovable
or that it will change not being Llovable.
Some of us gave up and used our addiction as
the reason why we're not Llovable.  

As a personal example,
very early in my life,
I became Mr. Fix It.  
I was always fixing things.  
I even spent  ten years earning my living
doing small, home-repair jobs.  

In the late 1960's,  I looked at the world and said,
"There's got to be a better way."  
I set up what is now  TLC-Life-Center.  

TLC-Life-Center and everything in it
is an expansion of Mr. Fix It.     

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The morning my wife threw  a huge emotional trauma at me
only minutes after throwing a  previous huge negative trauma at me,
the calf of my left leg froze into a very painful cramp.  
It took days to work out the pain.
In the process, I found a  huge army of negative emotions that
had controlled my life for years.  

Although I thought I had already dealt with all this stuff,
when I went digging, here's what I found:

I found more anger.  
I found that I was still carrying Sheyitt that I thought
that had already gotten rid of.   
I asked,
"What's wrong withe me?
Was I really created defective by a God
that believes murdering his son is an act of Llove?
Am I defective?   Do I have some pieces missing?
Am I Being punished by being deprived of
the blessings of God?"


The members of the family in which I grew up
were great self-worth busters.
Because I expressed skills and talents
that older brothers lacked,
I was butt of thousands of put downs
including getting slapped at the back of my head
on a regular basis, often for no reason
other than I was near them. 

At age three, I clearly remember saying words
and having thought to this affect:
This family sucks!.   Get me out of here!

At age 5, I was jokingly abandoned to the police.
To me, it was not a joke. 
I have worked at releasing this abandonment trauma
several times , yet it persisted. 
I quietly carried that anger for seventy two years

I was regularly left out of what older brothers were doing,
"because I was "too little."   My child mind took this to mean:
"I'm not good enough."

My singing was ridiculed to the point
where I stopped singing.  
At age six, I heard from older brothers
saying in laughing ridicule,
"Only sissies sing."

My father and my grand father who lived next door,
were evicted from our home
when I was age five September 1945)
This was part of a huge negative emotion
Llove triangle between my father an the boss's daughter
and the fact that  he got my mother pregnant
out of wedlock in 1933. 

He lost his love and married my mother,
and lived, stuck,  in an angry, Lloveless marriage 
for about thirty years.
Anger and stockiness ruled my parents lives. 

When my father got evicted, my pet dog, Buddy
just disappeared without a word to me.  
We spent that Vermont winter
far out of town in a n old farm house beside
a dangerous snow-covered hilly mountain road.

On moving day, September 1, 1946, (my 6th birthday)
a fire burned  the barns and nearly burned the house
The following summer, I developed sever hay fever,
even though the year before, I had no hay fever.
Nobody questioned the cause- the trauma of witnessing
the frantic effort to save the house and our belongings.

My father was an avid reader and highly
skilled in the English language.  
He spoke fluent French but was never wise enough
to teach me to speak French.  
My mother spoke fluent Polish, but she too
was not wise enough to teach me to  speak polish

I had no role models.  
I received almost zero training in social skills.
My parental sex education consisted of five words:
"keep it in your pants."

Then there's this angry, fickle God who lives in the sky.
He created me defective and inherently evil.   
And his agent (Catholic Church) keep threatening
to turn me over to the devil where I will burn in misery forever
if I make any mistakes.
I was told to both Llove God and fear him.  
Trying to do that is a  guaranteed mind-fuckover.

Then we never get a straight answer form God. 
To major questions, the only answer we get
is a hint or two and then we are left
to figure it out of suffer the consequences of not knowing

Then he secretly sick's onto us 
an army of pathological, parasitic,
child-raping, Child murdering, liars
who can disguise themselves as  real humans and
allows these heartless, emotionless sickos 
to control humans and the e entire planet
for about 30, 00 years.    
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My childhood mind took all this in
and created life-long behavior Patterns:

Anger and
stuck-ness and
not god enough,  
Am must be defective or somehow incompetent or stupid,
What did I do that was so terrible that
       I got banished to the crust of the Earth?
Life as a constant struggle,
What I want is impossible,
What is is inevitable. 
It can't be any other way.
Life sucks and then you die
Great way to create Victim Consciousness

fear of loss of my home and
lack of money, and
Fear that things will only get worse.
lack of Llove.
Lack of physical touch from other humans
I'm not good enough.  
I not worthy.  
I'm not deserving,
I never felt safe or secure in any home
I have ever lived in.
I became a one boy an then a one man version of Mr. Fixit

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Only recently did I realize that I am enough,
that everything I've done is enough.      

 References 

Videos Related to this Topic

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I AM Affirmations while you SLEEP for Confidence, Success, Wealth, Health & Spiritual Alignment - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrM_EMlhdiA
I am  I can  I have
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2,000 ★POWERFUL★ Abundance Affirmations & Images - Wealth Money Prosperity Cash Law of Attraction #1 -
YouTube   2;57:56
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ybaq7ttNNg


How to Change Your Frequency
to Change Your Reality 
Christie Marie Sheldon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuM678WXs0c       

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The Biggest Disease Affecting Humanity:
“I’m Not Enough"
by Marisa Peer 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw3NyUMLh7Y   

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To Reach Beyond Your Limits by Training Your Mind  
by Marisa Peer    
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCv-ZBy6_yU

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Kryon Teaches In Depth How to Properly Communicate
With Your Cells to Invoke Powerful Change.    
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za9A39FdUdY    

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How to avoid rejection and get connection: Marisa Peer   
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeDt9dgFXFk   

A Course in Mastering Alchemy
How Dimensions Work   
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gg-3K3KIw8g



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