Where Does the Sky Begin?

“I’d better not.   You’ll laugh at me and think I’m weird.”

“If the rest of your story is as funny as the first part, I probably will laugh, and I’ll laugh with you, but I certainly won’t laugh at you.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Laughing with you is sharing your joy.   It makes both of us feel good.”

“And what’s laughing at me?”

“Laughing at you is judging you as being inferior to me.   It would be sort of like knocking you down and standing on you so that I could look taller.”

“Why would someone want to step on me?”

“When folks don’t like themselves, they often want to make others feel inferior so that they don’t feel so small.”

“So Intendr, you wouldn’t want to step on me, would you?”

“Certainly not, my dear.   I’m already so tall that my head keeps poking up into the sky.”

“Come on!   You’re spoofing me again.   You’re only six feet tall.”

“Spoofing you, I might be, and I might not be.   So you tell me, where does the sky begin?”

“How should I know?”

“Well, just think about it for a minute, and, while you’re at it, tell me please, how high is up, and which way is west when you’re at the North Pole?”

“Come on, I know there is no east or west when you’re at the North Pole.   Every direction is south, but what’s this head poking into the sky business?”

“You’ll have your own answer when you decide where the sky begins.”

“What do you mean decide?   The sky begins wherever it begins.   It’s not for me to decide."

“Isn’t it?   Tell me then, who decides where the sky begins?”

“How should I know?”

“Jezebel, come on.   Get your head out of that old belief box of yours and play with me.   Who decides where the sky begins?”

I sit there looking puzzled for a moment, and then his words hit me.   “I got it!   The sky begins wherever I decide it does.”

“Ah, you do have it.   Good!   So, is your head sticking up into the sky?”

“It is if I say it is.   Wow!   This is fun.   OK, Smarty Pants, Intendr, how high is up?”

“Up is a direction.   It’s not measurable as a distance, so there is no answer.”

“Oh, I get it.”

Intendr then says, “You didn’t come to that conclusion by yourself, because you allowed yourself to be misled by my putting words together that don’t belong together.“

“And I got misled by believing that others make decisions and that I don’t.”

“Excellent.   You do have a very creative mind when you get out of your own way.”

“I do?   Huh?   OK.   Give me another example of putting words together that don’t belong together.”

He says, “Putting seemingly mismatched words together is called an oxymoron.   Some people laugh at the phrase, military intelligence.   By doing so, they are implying that those in the military aren’t intelligent.”  

“Well, are they?”

“Of course they are.   Many of them are extremely intelligent.”

“Then, what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that they are often not very wise.   As a result they frequently create more problems than they solve.”

.

What’s  Wisdom 

 “So what’s wise?”

“Let me answer that by starting with a couple of stories.”

“Good.   I like your stories, too.”

“An old bull and a young bull are walking across the cattle range when they come to the crest of a hill and look down into the valley below where they see several cows.   The young bull gets all excited and says,  ‘Let’s run down and fuck one of them.’   The old bull smiles, shakes his head and calmly says,   ‘Relax.   Take it easy.   Let’s walk down and fuck them all’.”

“Wow!   You just said the “F” word, twice.”

“Yeah, so what?   We can talk about vulgar language later if you like.   For now, let’s stick to the idea of wisdom.”

“OK.”

“Both bulls have the same external knowledge, and yet, their internal responses are quite different.   Which do you suppose is expressing
greater wisdom?”

“The old bull.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because, he’s going to get more with less effort.”

“Very clever, Miss Jezebel.   Did you hear someone say that?”

“The old bull.”

“No.   I just said it.   Kind of out of nowhere.”

“You just gave yourself a demonstration of where wisdom comes from.”

“I did?   Wow!”

“So, back to the bulls.   What did the old bull have that the young bull didn’t?”   

“I don’t know.”

“And if you did know?”

“The old bull had lots more experience.”

Intendr continues, “And so he saw the situation from a broader perspective, from a larger context, from a perspective that gave him more options to choose from.”

“Yes.”

“That’s wisdom.”

“Wow!”

Are you ready for the next story?”

“Ready I am.”

“The fairy Godmother appears at midnight in your bedroom and says, ‘Miss Jazbell, you may have any three wishes that you want.   What do you choose?”

I just sit there and say nothing.   After a long silence, he says, “I’m waiting for your answer." 

“Are you talking to me?”

“Do you see anyone else here?”

“No.”

“Is anyone else part of this conversation?”

“No.”

“Then I must be waiting for you and for your answer.”

I say, “You want an answer right now?” 

“Is the Pope Catholic?  

“Yes.”

“Do bears shit in the woods?”  

“You’re using bad language again.” 

“No shit, Sherlock.   What three wishes do you want?”

“You’d better tell me about swearing.”

“Forget about swearing.   I’m waiting for your answer.”

“I don’t know.   I need time to think.”

“Stop thinking and just answer the question.   What have we been talking about?”<>

“Wisdom,” I say.  

“Are you telling me or asking me?”  

Wisdom!   I’m telling you.   I’d ask first for wisdom.”  

“Why?” he says. 

“Because then I’d know what to do with the other two wishes.” 

Intendr continues, “OK, now that you have wisdom as your first wish, what’s your second wish?” 

“Hmm, I don’t  know.”  

“Good.   You don’t know.    Now that your head is out of the way, what does wisdom tell you to do when you have a limited supply of something?”

I say, “Ask for more. . .   Yes, that’s it.   My second wish would be to ask for thirty more wishes.”

“Why only thirty?   Why not an infinite supply?”  

<><><><>><>

“Because infinite goes on forever, and I might change my mind.”

“This sounds like you are you taking charge of your own life.”

“This is fun,” I say.

“OK, so you now have wisdom and thirty-one wishes.   Now what?   What about the rest of your Henry story?”

“Can I tell you the rest of my story the next time we meet?

“Certainly.   Is it time for you to leave already?”

“No, not quite yet.”

“I take it then, that you have something else in mind.”

”Yes.   Please tell me, again, about your game and those two rules you mentioned.”

“Are you sure you want to get into that?    It’s a pretty big elephant."

“Intendr, you keep taking me on side trips into things I’ve never heard of.   What do elephants have to do with this?”

“Answer this question and you'll know:  How do you eat an elephant?”

“You eat elephants!”

“No, but just imagine if you ate something that big, how would you eat it?”

I laugh and say, “OK, Mister Fancy Pants, I’d eat it with mayonnaise, lettuce, and tomato in one great big sandwich.”

“You’re quite a creative lady.   Thank you, and that’s not what I’m getting at.”

“OK, then you tell me.   How do you eat an elephant?”

“One bite at a time.”

“Oh!”

“We can begin talking about the game if you like, just be aware that this will require several discussions before we’re complete.”

“Lots of bites.”

“Yup.”

“OK, may I have the first bite, please?”

Life As a Game:

“Certainly, my dear.   Life on Earth is a game.   Even when one’s actions produce very significant consequences, life is still a game.   The game is called:  I Am — The Great Pretender.   Here’s the basic rule:  Your life is what your thoughts make it.   Let me say the basic rule slightly differently.   If you keep thinking about it, you’ve got it.” 

“And tell me again how the game is played.” 

“I’m here/now, and I want to be there/then.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“It means that I want to exchange what I’m presently experiencing for a different experience some time in the future.

“OK,” I ask, “how do I do that?” 

“You make up your game,” he says.   “You make up a there/then, and choose to go there.”

“What?”

“This is a pretty big bite of our elephant.   Are you sure you want this much?”

“Yup,” I say as I lean toward him and open my mouth as though I expected a bite of food. 

“OK, here it is in ten steps.” 

<><><>   <><><>

1)   Make up a delightful story about Jezebel — a story about something   you’d like to be, do, have, express, or experience.

2)   Look closely at your story and decide if it really expresses who you   choose to be.

3)   If it does, then commit yourself to making it real in your life.

4)   Next, look at yourself very closely, figure out where you are at   that moment in time, and then examine how where you are   relates to the story (the there/then) that you’ve just made up.

5)   Decide what steps will be required if you are to get from where you are to where you choose to be.   Answer the question:  How do I make my story a real life experience?“

6)   Share your dream only on a need-to-know basis.

7)   Set a time line -- by  ______  I'll reach my goal.   Decide what action is required and in what order to take those steps.   Prioritize and focus on the essential elements.   Set lots of small, short-term goals, all leading to the major goal and proceed one step at a time.   7-2  

8)   Begin taking the appropriate actions.   Do things in the required sequence.  Do what feels most important to do in the  moment.

9)   Examine the results you’re getting and make any required  mid-course corrections.

10)   Keep on keeping on.   Keep taking the appropriate actions and  making the necessary adjustments until your story becomes your physical reality.” 

<><><>   <><><>

“That’s not so big.   That’s just common sense.”

“Yes, my lady, it is sense, but, unfortunately, it’s not that common.   There are also a couple of other important factors to consider.”

“Like what?” 

“Beliefs, attitudes, and emotions.   If you believe you can succeed, if you hold a positive attitude about it, and if you get excited about it, these factors will make a significant and positive difference in your results.   Do you know what actors are?”

“Of course!” I say.   “They’re people who are paid to be pretenders.”

“Humans give lots of awards to the people in films and theater who are the most highly skilled at pretending to be somebody else.”

“And pay them lots of money too,” I say.   Did you know that Donald Duck is a billionaire?”

Intendr responds, “No, I didn’t know that.”

“And he did it all with no pants on,” I say.   “Do you know any no-pants billionaires?”

“In your world, unfortunately, no,” he says.   “If you’re friends with any no-pants billionaires, or even no-pants millionaires, please introduce me."

“You said, not in my world.   What did you mean?   Are there other worlds with no-pants billionaires?”

Intendr says, “Do you know the words that Jesus spoke,  ‘In my father’s house there are many mansions’?”

“Yes.”

“What do you suppose he meant by that statement?”

“I don’t know.”

“And if you did know, what would you say?”

“Intendr, you just won’t let me get away with anything, will you?” 

“Well, Miss Fancy-Pants Jazbell, if you’d rather not
be wise like Jesus’s mom, we can forget this whole thing
and just play in the water.   You did ask to be wise like her
and like Abraham Lincoln, didn’t you?” 

“Yes, I did.”

“Did you mean that, or were you just kidding?”

“Of course I meant it!”

“Then answer the question.”

“But I don’t have an answer.”

“Quit arguing for your limitations and make one up.”

I just sit there in confusion and look at him.

“Close your eyes for a minute,” he says, “and take in a deep breath.”   I do as he says.   “Now exhale and, as you do, just let your body relax.”   I exhale, relax, and then open my eyes.

He looks intently into my eyes and says, “Now, just open your mouth and let the answer come out.   Say the very first words that come into your mind.”

He then slowly and deliberately repeats his question,  ”What do you suppose Jesus might have meant when he said,  ‘In my father’s house there are many mansions’?”

I immediately say, “He probably meant that there are lots of things and lots of places in God’s Heaven that we as humans still don’t know anything about.”

“Excellent!   Now, do you see how easy that really was?”

I giggle and say, “Yes,” and then add,  “And in case you missed something here, Mister Intendr, it’s you and not me who’s wearing the fancy pants.   Where’d you get that outfit, anyway?”

He responds with a broad smile and the words,  “Why, in one of my father’s mansions, of course."

I look at him and say, “Intendr, I think we’d make a great team in a smart-ass contest.”

He just laughs and then I say,  “OK, fellow smart ass, I know what actors are.   What’s the big deal?” 

.

Brown Nosers and Ass Kissers

“What do you think happens when an actor step off the stages and away from the film sets?”

“I don’t know but think I’m about to find out.”

“And so you shall, my lady.   Look around you.   Who gets the rewards in every day life?”

“Brown nosers and ass kissers.”

“That’s one way to say it.   Why do you think they get the rewards?”   Without waiting for an answer, he says, “Because they are highly skilled at becoming, for the moment, who and what their potential rewarders want them to be.”

I say, “They’re still brown nosers and ass kissers.   I watched Henry blow smoke up Mr. Morgan’s ass to get an ‘A’ in English.”

“And so, Henry and others may be ass kissers.   So what?   Would you like to divert your creative energy into judging who is and who is not an ass kisser, or would you like to re-focus your thoughts on creating the kinds of experiences you choose to have in your life?”

“I’m not judging.”

“Sure sounds like it.   Shall we continue?”

“Yeah.   Screw them.   Let’s move on.”

“Rather than looking at them as ass kissers, I’m suggesting that we look at these people as artists skilled in the craft of creating what they choose.”

“They’re still ass kissers!”

He’s completely still for a moment, then sighs, looks intently at me and says, “Miss etta on Henry, let me say this to you in a different way.”

I interrupt him, “Are you calling me a stupid, goofy kid?”

“You keep peddling the same judgment message even though you have no idea what you’re talking about.   If you want to label that or yourself as stupid or goofy, then go ahead.”

“OK, what’s your point, Mr. Fancy Pants, Intendr?”

“My point is you’re stuck wasting energy on useless judgments.   If you keep detouring this way, we’ll never reach our goal.   Let me say this in a story form and see if it makes more sense that way.

    You are driving a car from Cow Town, Texas to Potato Patch, Idaho, that’s 1,350 miles, and you have just enough money to buy the gas to get you there.   You know that your old buddy, Henry, because he got an ‘A’ in English, is now studying ass kissing at Brown Nose University, which is only 45 miles out of your way.   If you want, you can drive the 45 miles over to B.N.U. and tell Henry he’s an ass kisser and then drive 45 miles back to your highway and continue your journey.   But if you take that 90-mile detour, you’re going to run out of gas 90 miles short of Potato Patch, Idaho.   Now you tell me, do you want to detour to B.N.U. again, or shall we go along on our journey?”

“Let’s move on.“

Create a Composite Role model:

“Good!   And since there are no perfect role models for the characters we are making up, I suggest we look for the attributes that we want from wherever we can find them.   From each role model, we can accept and adapt only those pieces that work for us in our own creation and simply leave the rest behind.”  

“Sounds good to me.   Flush-a-by B.N.U.”   

“Have you studied any American history?”

“Yes, a little.”

“Do you remember the name Robert Fulton?”  

“He invented the steam engine, built it on a boat in the Mississippi,
as I recall.”  7-3   

“And when that engine got adapted to dry land, railroads changed the face of the planet.   Do you know what new technology he had to create in order to build the steam engine?”  

“No.”  

“None!”  

“What do you mean none?   He created the steam engine.   That was new.”  

“I didn’t ask what he created that was new.   I asked, what new technology did he have to develop in order to build the steam engine?   Nada!  None!  Zippo!  Zero!   All he did was to put already-existing things together in a way that no one else had yet done.   Fulton looked at existing technologies for what value they might have in his vision.   He focused his attention on the pieces that were important to him — on what served the creation of his goal.   He focused on the dog and left the wag behind.”

“The wag?”   

“Wag.   Tail.   Dog.   Get it?”  

“Not really,” I say.

“The wagging tail is all that most folks see.   The dog is the creator of the wag.”  

“So?”

“So I am inviting you to look beyond the obvious, the apparent, the normal.   Focus on the dog, not just the wagging tail or the yapping mouth.   Then for a moment or two, imagine yourself as the dog and find out what is inspiring you to wag your tail.”  

“Intendr, you’re going to have to explain that one some more.   I still don’t get it.” 

“Certainly, my lady.   If you look out into the world, you’ll see wagging tails, signs, banners, waving flags, and lots of other attention attracting junk.   You’ll also hear many people shooting their mouths off about almost everything.   What I’m suggesting is that you look beyond the surfaces and listen for the undertones and the overtones; see and hear what’s behind the masks that most people present to the world.  

    Mr. Fulton is a historical example of a person who did that.   He looked out into all the mechanical devices that had, to that date, been created and took a piece from here, a piece from there, an idea from this, and an idea from that.   Then, leaving all the rest of the junk behind, he put those useful pieces together in a unique fashion and presented to the world something it had never seen before.  

“That’s kind of like magic.”  

“Not really.   It’s merely seeing the world from a different vantage point.  

“Yes, I guess it is.”  

“Do you climb trees?” he says. 

“What?” I say.

He repeats, “Do you climb trees?”

I look at him funny and say, “Sure, lots of times.” 

“Would you climb that tree over there for me, please.”  

“You mean climb it right now?”  

“Can you think of a better time, say perhaps at 4 a.m. tomorrow morning?”  

“OK, smarty pants, I’ll climb it now if you’ll tell me why.”  

“Of course I’ll tell you.   Did you imagine, even for a moment, that I wouldn’t?”  

“Well, not really.”   I sit there looking at him, waiting.  

“What are you waiting for?” he says.  

“Your answer,” I say.  

“I don’t have the answer.   You have the answer, and it’s up there, in that tree.”  

“What?” I say.  

He slips off the bench, takes off his hat, and kneels facing me with one knee on the ground.   He looks up, holds his hands out to me, and says, “My dear lady, Miss Jazbell Scrivener, would thou please removest thine head from thine butt,
and then go climb yonder tree?”  

I laugh and, without another word, I get up and climb the tree.   “Now what?” I yell down to him.  

He replies, “Now ask and then answer your own question.”  

I say out loud, “Why did I climb this tree?”   The answer is instant, clear and obvious.   I feel really stupid that I had to climb the tree to get the answer.   I yell down to him, “I climbed the tree to see the park and the lake in a different way.”

“Good job,” he says.   “Now come on back down, please.”   I climb back down expecting him to laugh at how stupid I was, but he only smiles and repeats, “Good job, my lady,” and then adds, “You’ll be a master in no time.”  

Suddenly, I don’t feel stupid any more, so I don’t tell him how I felt.   He points to the tree and says, “Was it the same park and the same lake when you were up there?”  

“Yes.”  

“So what was different?”  

“Me.   I was different.   I could see the park in a way that was very different from anyone still on the ground.”  

“So, now I’m going to invite you to climb a different kind of tree.   This one is not made of bark, branches, and wood, but it’s just as real.   You’ll have to climb this tree in your imagination.“ 

“OK,” I say, “I’m ready.” 

“Whenever you find yourself in a situation where you have questions, climb up into the tree of life and view your situation from a bigger, higher, and more inclusive vantage point.   Look for things you couldn’t see from the ground.   Climb back down and look again from the ground.   Then, walk around and view the same scene from still another vantage point.   Stand on your head if necessary.   See as much of the scene as possible from as many different angles as possible.   Also, listen in as many different ways as you can imagine.  Then ask and answer this question,   ‘How can I best respond to this situation?’   Then follow your heart and do what you feel is right for you to do in response to the situation you are experiencing.”  

“You think I can do that?” 

“Of course!   Remember the words of Jesus:
‘Anything I can do you can do and more’.”

“Yes.”  

“Well, if his words are the truth, then, for someone like you, someone with that much potential, looking at things a little bit differently, ought to be as easy as sipping soda through a straw.   After a little practice, you’ll learn to trust your own judgment.   The key to the whole process is trusting yourself.   When you decide to get into the game with me, I’ll share more ideas with you about thinking in new ways.” 7-4   

“Like what?” I ask.  

“Well, for example, let’s look again at the wagging tail.   The wag and the dog are only one step removed from each other and so it’s relatively easy to see their connection.   If you imagine yourself as the dog and look at the wag from the dog’s perspective, that’s a second step removed from the way you normally see things.”  

“So?”

“So, if you choose to consciously run your life rather than let your mechanical instinctive nature make your choices for you, you’ll be able to see problems before they come knocking on your door.   You’ll see opportunities that others will miss.   You’ll be able to see things by looking at something else.   You’ll be able to see subtle distinctions.” 

         “Because the human brain is wired to see only big things, people commonly overlook the small things.   Subtle but often important differences commonly go unnoticed.   I’ll teach you a new level of awareness so that you’ll be more likely to see small differences that now escape your notice, and thus you’ll be able to see life from a very different place than from where you now see it.   For example if, in receiving a message from someone, you perceive only their words, you miss the messages that come through in their eyes, in their facial expressions, their voice inflections, and in their body language.”  

         “We’re into eating a whole new elephant now, so I’ll give you only one more example, and then we’ll talk more about this later.”  

“OK.”

“Here’s a very useful example of inferring one thing from something else — of extrapolating — of seeing the normally unseen — of seeing potential problems before they become problems.”  

Look closely at the people you have any interactions with and know that whatever you see them doing to someone else, sooner or later, given the means, the motive and the opportunity, they’ll be doing the same thing to you.   Know that whatever they accuse someone else of doing, that’s what they themselves are doing or would do if given the chance.  

 End of Chapter Seven ---  Life Is Not a Punishment

*********************************